I love my little girl, and I love my boys dearly, but I'm thinking I'm going to need some help. Even with Hubby here to help, I'm having a hard time. The postpartum period is tough. My husband took the boys camping yesterday, so I had an entire twenty-four hours to just be with my baby. I rested when she rested and drooled over her cuteness when she was awake. If only I could do that for six weeks (the time it generally takes to recover from pregnancy, labor, and delivery), things would be great. But I know that in reality, I can't. I have two little boys who require almost constant attention, and I honestly don't know how I'll do it once my husband leaves. My dad and stepmom are so busy with work and thier church callings, I know they won't be able to help me out as much as I'm going to need it. I'm just feeling really anxious right now about how I'll survive the next couple of months. I've had problems with post-partum depression before, and I'm just scared that it's going to happen again.
Honestly, I wish I could ship my boys off for a few weeks. As much as I would miss them, it would allow me to take care of myself so that I can heal faster and be a better mom to all of them. I need time to rest and to get to know my baby. Maybe I can get some help from people around here. I think I'd even be willing to pay someone for child care if it would mean having a break from my boys for a couple hours a day. I'll have to look into that.
I know I'll survive somehow, but I just haven't figured out how yet . . .